Knowing What You Know

Knowing What You Know

Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish. Proverbs 18:13

I don’t know everything. I wish I did, but I can’t even get away with pretending to know everything. Too many people have made it painfully clear that I don’t. But over the years, I have become more and more comfortable admitting that and listening to others.

Some people pretend to know more than they do. Nathan was told in law school, “If after three weeks of class you don’t know who the class jerk is, it’s you.” Hopefully he wasn’t that person—the one who thinks he has all the answers and can’t be vulnerable enough to admit needing the counsel of others. That attitude may come from a huge ego, but it’s more often a defense mechanism masking insecurity and fear of being exposed as ignorant. When we feel like we have to know everything about everything—or at least make other people think we do—we’ve got some self-esteem issues.

I’ve found that “I don’t know” is almost always a good answer. It’s actually a sign of strength, not of weakness. We have to be secure to say that. When we can, it becomes a great opportunity to learn. When we find people who know more than us about a certain topic—and they are everywhere—it’s a great idea to take them to lunch, ask questions, and let them do the talking. My dad always did that, and most people described him as being quiet. But he was quiet because he was always listening. He felt that people had a lot to offer from their own experiences, and he was secure enough to learn from them.

This is the flip side of mentoring. A mentor reaches out to help someone along the path of life. That’s important, and everyone should have someone to mentor in his or her life. But when we seek counsel, we’re looking for someone who is a little further along on the path of life—or at least on the path of a certain area of knowledge and wisdom. We need to put all pride and ego aside and be open to being mentored.

A need to be “the expert” about something rarely impresses others and can actually hinder your own growth. Always be in the process of learning. Seek the counsel of others. Listen to their experiences. Feel free to say, “I don’t know—enlighten me.” And let them fuel your growth.

Uncommon Key > Sometimes the wisest thing to say is “I don’t know.” And the wisest thing to do is to listen to those who do know. Start practicing.