Complementary Gifts

Complementary Gifts

“A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:31-33

Talking about the roles of men and women in marriage can stir up a lot of controversy. The idea of well-defined roles makes many of us uncomfortable in this day and age, me included. What concerns me is that these discussions tend to focus on who gets to be in charge. But the Bible makes it clear that both husbands and wives are supposed to be looking out for each other’s well-being, not concentrating on who has the power. That means, as a husband, I’m supposed to be doing everything for the good of my wife.

Look at it another way: God is not only my Father, He’s also my spouse’s Father. That means He’s my Father-in-law. That’s a pretty heavy responsibility. That motivates me to serve, not to figure out who’s in charge.

One of God’s gifts to us in marriage is the idea of roles—that each of us brings something unique to the partnership. Putting others first is never easy, and it can be especially taxing in the context of marriage—an up-close-and-personal, day-after-day relationship. In that kind of bond, you can’t take a break from looking out for each other. Your spouse’s well-being is just as important to you as your own.

Try this exercise to help you see how your partnership works. Take a look in the mirror and recall all the things you are good at—in your career, at home, with the children, at church, and around the neighborhood. Think about the things you love to do—those things you’re passionate about. Then think about the things you aren’t so good at or that you never look forward to doing.

Now take a moment to go through the exact same questions about your spouse. Do you see how you fit together? The picture that emerges will tell you a lot about your roles—and how you can put each other first. Remember above all that your role in marriage is for your spouse’s benefit.

Uncommon Key > Your spouse’s well-being is directly related to yours. Seek to fulfill your role in your home, not solely for your benefit, but for the benefit of everyone in your family.