Choose Your Words Well

We all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2

I don’t know about you, but controlling my tongue is quite a task. Whether the words are said in haste or in anger or in an attempt to be funny, speaking without thinking seems to be a fairly common problem today. In fact, I think we live in the midst of an uncivil and thoughtless society.

Locker rooms seem to be particularly rife with verbal bashing, becoming breeding grounds for sarcasm and biting words. Players, coaches, or staff try to rationalize such remarks by telling themselves they wouldn’t say those things out loud if they actually meant them. But more and more, people will say things and then later claim they were misunderstood or were simply joking. I think the real misunderstanding was their lack of understanding of how their words would be received.

I don’t think locker rooms are any different than workplaces, classrooms, homes, or any other settings where we spend time with people. Careless words abound everywhere. The danger is that saying careless words is habit-forming—these unguarded moments become patterns for normal interaction with family, friends, teammates, coworkers, and others. And it’s tough to break the habit, to flip the switch and say encouraging and uplifting words to the same people we’ve been mean to.

I used to be careless in my speech and quick to become angry when I was on the sidelines. Part of why I tried to become more stoic was to give myself a split second to think before my words came flying out unchecked. Trying to stay calm and quiet helped me keep my words deliberate and under control.

Uncommon Key > Watch your words. What might seem harmless or funny in one setting may be completely inappropriate in another, and probably isn’t harmless or funny in the first place. Especially if what you say is not encouraging others.

From the book