Changing Demands Into Desires

Changing Demands into Desires

That is why I am boldly asking a favor of you. I could demand it in the name of Christ because it is the right thing for you to do. But because of our love, I prefer simply to ask you. Philemon 1:8-9

Asking someone to do something, rather than demanding they do it or else, is a good lesson and starting point for anyone who wants to be an effective leader.

I knew I could tell my players what to do and they’d do it. But what if I wasn’t around to tell them? What would they do then? It was better to have them do things instinctively.

We see great examples of this kind of leadership in some of our great coaches—none better than Billy Donovan, the head basketball coach for the University of Florida. Coach Donovan emphasizes fundamentals and techniques—shooting, rebounding, picks, ball movement, defense, pressing, transition game, free throws, out-of-bounds plays. He works with players over and over on handling every possible game situation they could encounter. In practice players learn to recognize defensive and offensive patterns and make appropriate adjustments. Everything is designed to help them develop their basketball abilities.

But Coach Donovan takes what he teaches them about playing the game at the highest level and prepares them for other settings. He does this by continually casting the vision of where he wants them to be. He gives his players space to find their way, to succeed and to fail. He directs them less and inspires, challenges, and encourages them more. Coach recognizes that he can make them do what he wants them to do, but the mark of a true leader is that he can get his players to want to do it on their own with energy and passion.

Usually that autonomy works out—the overall results for Coach Donovan’s teams have been more than satisfactory, including back-to-back national championships in 2006 and 2007. Sometimes, however, that autonomy brings criticism if the results don’t work out. He accepts the trade-off and can take pride in his teams’ achievements because he believes an even greater accomplishment is his part in building into his players’ lives.

Uncommon Key > Review any recent “demands” you made to someone. You may owe that person an apology or a thank-you. Great leaders persuade rather than make demands to those they lead—and often achieve extraordinary results.