A Genuine Interest

A Genuine Interest

After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 1 Samuel 18:1

Our son Jamie really exemplified a statement my parents always made: choose your friends for the sake of friendship. That seems obvious, but a lot of people choose friends because they are popular, good-looking, rich, or part of the “right” crowd. But Jamie was never concerned with someone’s status. He was drawn to people who looked like they needed a friend. Sometimes it seemed like the less status someone had, the more likely Jamie was to hang out with them. He chose his friends for no other reason than that he enjoyed being around them.

Friendship is meant to have mutual benefits for both people, but we often evaluate others by how they might benefit us. We may criticize society for valuing star athletes more than nurses and teachers, but we often reflect the same distorted values in our personal relationships. We determine people’s worth based on what they can do for us, how well-connected they are, or what their job is. We think more often about the benefits we might receive than the benefits we might be able to give. Rarely do people develop friendships based on the opportunities they give to pour into someone else’s life.

Friendship runs two ways. Dale Carnegie said you can make more friends in two weeks by genuinely showing interest in them than you can make in two years by trying to get them interested in you. And he was right. If you choose your friends simply for the sake of friendship—two-way, mutual benefit—you’ll not only have more of them, but the ones you have will mean more to you.

Uncommon Key > Choose your friends based on the fact that you enjoy being around them. Instead of thinking how they might benefit you, think about how you might benefit them.