The Grace Of Discipline

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 1 Corinthians 5:12

HOW WILL WE RESPOND if and when we discover that our adult child is enslaved in sexual sin, involved in corrupt financial practices, abusing his or her spouse or employees, or drinking excessively and habitually?

If our children are in Christ, in addition to being our sons and daughters, they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. So we not only relate to them as parent to child, but also as believer to believer. And there is a big difference between the way we are to respond to an unbeliever who is trapped in sin and a believer who refuses to give up his or her sin.

Paul makes it clear that we should not expect those who are separated from Christ to embrace and obey his commands. And this applies to our adult children. So the big question in the face of an adult child’s ongoing sin is not so much about the behavior but about whether he or she truly belongs to Christ. If our child has not been genuinely joined to Jesus by faith, it makes sense that he or she would sin. After all, unbelievers don’t have the Spirit’s power to overcome sin and temptation.

But if our child claims to be in Christ and resists repentance when confronted compassionately and patiently, the situation is different. Our child’s sin impacts the entire church. The language Paul uses hits us as harsh and makes us uncomfortable. This person is to be removed from fellowship (verse 2), and thrown out and handed over to Satan (verse 5). Those in the church are “not to associate” (verse 9) with those who claim to be believers yet indulge in sin of any kind. We must see that this harsh response has an intended effect: restoration. Such discipline is not intended to communicate our disapproval but rather our fear for our child’s soul.

Lord, if I ever must endure seeing my child undergo the discipline of the church for ongoing sin, I’m going to need a lot of your grace. Help me to love the purity of your church more than the comfort of my child. Help me to trust your grace of discipline in _________’s life to bring about restoration.