The Discipline That Comes From The Lord

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

THIS VERSE IN EPHESIANS mirrors one in Colossians —“Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). They are actually the only two commands to parents in the entire New Testament. Did Paul write this same instruction two times because dads have a natural tendency to approach things in a way that would provoke anger in their kids, demand things that aggravate their kids, or expect things that discourage their kids?

We basically know what discourages and provokes our kids to anger —things like mocking, yelling, unjust and excessive punishment, and hypocrisy —but we sometimes find it hard to break these patterns. Fortunately, this passage provides us with an alternative way to interact with our kids —“the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” But how does our heavenly Father discipline and instruct his own children?

He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. . . . The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. (Psalm 103:10, 13)

Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15)

Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? (Romans 8:32)

To bring our children up in the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord is something much more than raising them in church or using “biblical principles.” It is disciplining and instructing them with the same clarity and compassion, the same firmness and forgiveness, the same toughness and tenderness, the same initiative and integrity with which our Father fathers us.

Lord, I want to get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, and harsh words in my parenting. Instead, I want to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward ________, just as you have been so very kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward me.