Foolish Children Bring Grief

Foolish children bring grief to their father

and bitterness to the one who gave them birth. Proverbs 17:25

MOMS AND DADS never set out on the journey of parenting expecting their children to bring them great sorrow. We want to think that the pain of child rearing ends with labor and delivery, but most parents soon discover otherwise. We feel the hurts inflicted on our child as well as the hurts inflicted by our child. Parenting over the long haul often includes the pain of relational conflict, unfulfilled expectations, and wasted opportunities. But the greatest grief for a Christian parent is the pain of having a child who rejects Christ.

Godly parents sometimes have children who are not godly. And it scares us. Because we’d like to think that if we live the right way and teach our children the right things, then we can be sure our children will live and believe like we do. But it’s just not that neat and tidy. Scripture includes plenty of examples of godly parents having ungodly children as well as of wicked parents having godly children. There’s simply no one-to-one correlation between the spiritual condition of parents and that of their children. But most of us don’t have to go to the Bible to know this is true. We know godly parents whose hearts have been broken by children who have rejected Christ.

We can teach God’s Word to our children, urge them to trust in Christ, and pray for their salvation. But no parent can make a child live a truly godly life. Only God can do that. This means that parents who grieve over their child’s rejection of the Christ they love can grieve without guilt. Just as we dare not take all the credit for the grace of God in the lives of our children who have chosen to live the life of faith, neither should we assume all the blame for a child’s choice to reject it.

Lord, when I feel grief over my child’s foolish choices, it helps to know that you have felt that same sorrow. Remind me, too, when ________ brings me grief, that I am guilty of bringing you grief. Help me to extend the same glad forgiveness to ________ that you have extended to me.