A Snare And A Trap

If you turn away from him and cling to the customs of the survivors of these nations remaining among you, and if you intermarry with them, then know for certain that the LORD your God will no longer drive them out of your land. Instead, they will be a snare and a trap to you, a whip for your backs and thorny brambles in your eyes, and you will vanish from this good land the LORD your God has given you. Joshua 23:12-13

WE WANT SO MANY THINGS for our children. But surely at or near the top of the list is that if they marry, they marry someone who loves Christ, someone who will share this life-encompassing, identity-defining commitment. But oftentimes even some believing children toy with relationships that grow deeper than they expect, sometimes ending in marriages in which either the Christian relegates Christ to the margins of life, or the unbelieving partner is marginalized, leaving both parties feeling lonely and unhappy.

When our children’s hearts become entwined with those who do not share faith in Christ, they resist the reality that pursuing a relationship with another person who has little to no interest in building a life around Christ will make them miserable over the long haul. They’re convinced that somehow their case will be the exception. They insist that the unbelieving spouse will be supportive of their Christian faith. They are convinced that the two of them are soul mates. Blithely optimistic, they’re sure that their passion and commitment will overcome all obstacles.

So we need the ancient word —this ancient warning —to do a work in our thoroughly modern children, convincing them that a romantic entanglement with an unbeliever has the potential of becoming a snare and a trap, something that may seem so very right in the moment but will bring great sorrow and loneliness over their lifetime.

Lord, I want ________ to enjoy every blessing you have to give your children, including the blessing of being joined heart to heart, soul to soul with a spouse as one flesh. Use your Word and your warnings to keep ________ from assuming that somehow she is an exception to the reality of the misery of being unequally yoked. Give her wisdom and discipline in matters of the heart. And give her such a passion for you that it will rule over all other passions.