Words That Bring Life

Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24

Studies show that with the best of intentions, mothers tend to criticize their children ten times more than they say a positive remark, and dads do their fair share as well. There may be practical reasons, such as getting children to brush their teeth or do their homework, but critical words only discourage children and derail the loving relationship we hope to build. Why? Because children and teenagers tend to move toward those who encourage them and away from those who discourage them.

A negative approach focuses on what I call the “hole”—what young people are not doing well or how they’re falling short. Negative words, however unintentional, begin to demotivate and deflate those who hear them.

Today’s reading offers a better approach: speaking kind words that bless your children and are sweet to their souls and healthy for their bodies. You encourage and build up your daughter when you focus on how much she tried in the soccer game rather than on whether her team won or lost, or on a young boy’s progress (seventy-eight this week on the math test—five more right than last week!). Giving children “snapshots” of how they’re growing or progressing helps motivate their efforts: “You kept trying even though writing the essay was difficult; that’s what I call perseverance.” These words may seem small, but they are seeds of promise and blessing.

Don’t wait to offer kind words to the children around you until they are older, become more successful, make top grades, or behave better. Focus on what you can be thankful for, the hidden gifts God has put within, and encourage children right where they are.

Father, you who are the essence of love, forgive my negativity and perfectionism, my critical words to those I love. Transform my heart to see those children around me with your eyes and to speak words of life to them. Help me to believe in them, even before I see the finished product, and to be patient even as you are infinitely patient with me.

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish!

Anne Frank(1929–1945), Jewish author and victim of the Nazi Holocaust