Zip It - Eliphaz, Bildad, And Zophar

They sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 2:13

After a long day’s work and the usual evening activities at home, a man sat down with his wife and listened as she talked about her day. She didn’t paint a pretty picture.

“I’ve been having a lot of problems with my sister,” she began. “It seems that no matter what I do, she finds fault and criticizes me. Now I find out she’s been saying the same things to our mother!”

“Well, honey,” the man offered, “you need to sit down and talk to your sister and tell her —”

His wife’s sudden look of disapproval stopped him cold. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“If I had been looking for your advice on how to fix the situation,” she said frostily, “I would have asked you for it. Right now, I just need you to be quiet and listen to me!”

Many men struggle with just listening, but there is great wisdom in remembering why God gave you two ears and only one mouth. Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, friends who tried to comfort Job in his suffering, lacked that kind of wisdom.

At first, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were exactly the kind of friends a suffering man needs. When they first saw Job, they recognized that he just needed to bend some ears. They tore their clothing, put dust on their heads, and sat with him silently until Job spoke.

They should have quit while they were ahead.

Job’s three friends meant well when they began speaking, but instead of comforting Job through active listening, they tried to analyze and fix his problems.

Of course, they failed miserably. Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar had a chance to make a positive difference in Job’s life, but because they couldn’t remain quiet and listen, they made a bad situation even worse.

You are probably wired to fix things—the car, the leaky faucet, the water heater. Sometimes when a loved one begins bending your ear, your best course isn’t to try to fix their problem but to zip your lips and listen.