Till Death Do Us Part

Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Galatians 6:9

In March 1990, Dr. Robertson McQuilkin announced his resignation as president of Columbia Bible College in order to care for his wife, Muriel, who was suffering from the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease. In his resignation letter he wrote about Muriel’s failing health and his conviction that it was his next task in life to care for her himself.

“Muriel now, in the last couple of months, seems to be almost happy when with me, and almost never happy when not with me. In fact, she seems to feel trapped, becomes very fearful—sometimes almost terror—and when she can’t get to me there can be anger; she’s in distress. But when I’m with her she’s happy and contented, and so I must be with her at all times. And you see, it’s not only that I promised in sickness and in health, till death do us part, and I’m a man of my word. But as I have said . . . it’s the only fair thing. She sacrificed for me for forty years to make my life possible, so if I cared for her for forty years I’d still be in her debt. However, there’s much more. It’s not that I have to. It’s that I get to. . . . It’s a great honor to care for such a wonderful person.”^a

Robertson relied on God to give him the strength to meet his wife’s needs week after week, month after month, for thirteen years. Muriel’s last day on this earth was September 19, 2003.

In a culture in which people prize their individual freedoms above all else, this simple story of a man who loved and served his wife has touched people in a way that he never anticipated. The story of Robertson’s act of love spread across the country. Pastors mentioned it from the pulpit, leading couples to renew their wedding vows. Christianity Today printed two articles by Robertson, and in 1998 he expanded that material into a book, A Promise Kept. Robertson couldn’t understand why so many people were inspired by his choice. Then an oncologist who worked with dying patients told him, “Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women.”^b

Consider how you can reveal continuing faithful love to your spouse today, and take a moment to express your thanks for the gift of his or her continued caring presence in your life.

Most baby boomers and their offspring have an internalized therapist in our heads—the internalized voice of the consumer culture—to encourage us to stop working so hard or to get out of a marriage that is not meeting our current emotional needs.

—William J. Doherty

^a 21

^b 22

From the book