Thinking Too Much?

Thinking Too Much?

Be clear minded and self-controlled.

1 Peter 4:7, NIV

“Life is deep and simple, and what our society gives us is shallow and complicated.” Fred Rogers, the Mister Rogers of children’s television, said this in a thoughtful interview shortly before he passed away. What a wise and compassionate man. And what an amazing and insightful sentence. Life is deep and simple. And yet we so often make it more complicated than it needs to be—because we think too much.

Just about anything can trigger overthinking: Your boss makes a sarcastic comment, your spouse doesn’t call when you expect, a colleague seems short with you in an e-mail, a friend makes a flippant comment about your weight, you’re nervous about a doctor’s appointment. The list is endless. You find yourself ruminating on these situations, postulating on possible explanations for other people’s actions, nitpicking scenarios, replaying the events in your head, and coming up with alternate endings—basically making a thought fog out of your brain.

You may think you’re gaining valuable insight by ruminating and analyzing every detail, but you’re not. Overthinking is not your friend. It makes your mind tense, keeps you stuck in your head, and immobilizes your motivations. So the question remains: are you thinking too much?

Almost all of us do this on occasion. The good news for couples is that we have a built-in sounding board because of our relationship. Experts find that couples are less likely to think too much the moment they begin talking about what’s weighing them down. Why? Because as we talk about what we’ve been overthinking, the complexity of the issue often becomes more simple, and the load begins to lighten.

And of course, praying together about it is at least as important as talking about it. Releasing our burdens to the Lord is a luxury every Christian can afford. So what’s weighing on your mind today? Why not release that tyranny? It may sound clichéd, but right now you can talk it over and pray it through.

Of all the tyrannies on humankind, the worst is that which persecutes the mind.

—John Dryden