The Nicest Thing You Could Say About Each Other

The Nicest Thing You Could Say about Each Other

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.

Proverbs 3:27

You may have read the true story of Sister Helen Mrosla that became an e-mail chain letter.^a Sister Helen taught third grade at Saint Mary’s School in Morris, Minnesota. That’s where she met Mark Eklund, who talked incessantly and needed regular reminders that talking without permission was not acceptable. Each time, Mark would respond sincerely, “Thank you for correcting me, Sister.”

But one morning Sister Mrosla’s patience was growing thin, and she made a novice teacher’s mistake when she said, “If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!” Sure enough, before the next minute was up, Mark was talking. Without saying a word, the nun proceeded to Mark’s desk and made a big X with tape over his mouth. She said that, as she returned to the front of the room, she glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, and he winked at her. That’s all it took and she started laughing. The class cheered as she removed the tape and shrugged her shoulders. Despite the regular correction, at the end of every day, Mark would go up to the teacher’s desk and say, “Good night, Sister. Thank you for teaching me.”

Sister Mrosla encountered Mark again some years later, when he was a student in her junior-high math class. On one occasion, the class had worked hard and needed a break, so she asked them to write the nicest thing they could about each of the other students and hand it in. She compiled individual results for each student, adding her own compliment at the end of each list, and handed them out the next school day.

Several years later, Mark was killed in Vietnam. After the funeral, some of his former classmates gathered at Mark’s parents’ luncheon. Sister Mrosla was there too. Mark’s father took a wallet out of his pocket, which he said had been found on Mark after he was killed. He carefully removed a folded, refolded, and taped paper—the list of Mark’s classmates’ compliments. His mother talked about how he treasured it.

Some of Mark’s classmates then admitted that they, too, still had their lists—one in his wedding album, one in her diary, and one, like Mark, on his person.

This true story about the impact of Sister Mrosla’s unplanned classroom exercise underscores just how valuable a note of encouragement and affirmation can be to the human spirit. If you were to be called upon to write a note like this, what would you say about your partner?

If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

—Bob Hope

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