Slow Food

Slow Food

A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.

Proverbs 15:17

We got married in Chicago on June 30, 1984. Since then we’ve done our best to celebrate this important anniversary in a variety of ways, sometimes with others but mostly on our own. But no matter where we are or what we’re doing, the celebration seems to eventually center around food—especially on our twentieth anniversary.

We marked the milestone, as many couples do on their anniversaries, with a fancy meal—just the two of us. But this was like no meal we had ever experienced before. We arrived at the five-star Herbfarm in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains at six, and the meal did not end until well after eleven. No entertainment, no interludes, just five leisurely hours of a nine-course meal. Occasionally we’d take a walk around the gardens in between courses, but most of our time was spent talking about anything and everything that came to mind. Talk about having time to let your souls catch up! With our two boys safe at home with a babysitter, we relished the slow pace of the evening. We basked in the time we had with no agenda other than to be together.

Granted, this is not the kind of meal we’d want all the time. It was highly unusual, to say the least. But it underscored for us the value “slow food” brings to our relationship. Truth is, a slow approach to food strengthens any relationship. There is something in the nature of eating together that forms a bond between people. As Carl Honoré points out in his book In Praise of Slowness, “It is no accident that the word ‘companion’ is derived from the Latin words meaning ‘with bread.’”^a

Meals become meaningful when we share them with our partners in a “slow” way, in a way that allows our spirits to relax and makes us more loving. It’s what caused famed playwright Oscar Wilde to say, “After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” If that’s not enough encouragement to eat well together, what is?

It’s not really about what you eat, of course—or even eating, period. Find a way to create a relaxed moment to unite your spirits today, whether it’s a slow meal or a lazy moment of conversation.

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating or drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

—voltaire

^a 70