Shake It Up

Shake It Up

What sorrow awaits you who lounge in luxury in Jerusalem, and you who feel secure in Samaria!

Amos 6:1

We were attending a conference on spiritual formation when the workshop leader asked this question: If you were doomed to live the same life over and over again for eternity, would you choose the life you are living now?

Wow! That will get you to ponder your life, don’t you think? And it’s sure to get you questioning the lethal attitude of complacency—that smug satisfaction that settles into low expectations and inaction.

Complacency seeps into the crevices of a marriage without anyone knowing. After so many years of the same old routine, a once-vibrant marriage slowly evolves into a stale relationship of the ho-hum. In its most toxic form, complacency becomes listless indifference, and it can kill a marriage. Referring to its depreciating effect on Christianity, Archbishop Richard Whately said that indifference “is a more insidious and less curable evil than infidelity itself.” And it has that effect on the institution of marriage as well as the institution of the church.

It is because complacency is such a great enemy of the human spirit that the writers of the book of Proverbs have a lot to say about it. For example, Proverbs 27:23 says that the wise person is always on the lookout for early signs that entropy is setting in: “Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds.”

So how does a couple protect themselves against the cancer of complacency? With vision. Take a look around. Do you know of any couple who works at crafting a vision for their future that has fallen prey to complacency? Of course not. It’s an impossibility. Once you take time to explore your future as a couple, you inoculate yourselves against indifference. You are taking action to create a life together that complacency cannot penetrate. So take a moment and ask yourselves what you want to have accomplished as a couple three months from now. One year from now. In a decade. Consider how you would like to improve such areas as communication, intimacy, financial management, outside relationships, traditions for holidays, spirituality, and so on. Then take your plans to the Lord and ask for his guidance as you consider how to spend the time he has given you together.

I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives when it’s so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ.

—Jimmy Carter