Rules Or Relationships?

Rules or Relationships?

No one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.

Romans 3:20

For several years, an anti-lawsuit group from Michigan has held “The Wacky Warning Label Contest” to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. A warning sticker on a small tractor that reads, “Danger: Avoid Death” took home the top prize recently. Another was found on a label of an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns, “Do not iron while wearing shirt.” A baby stroller that featured a small storage pouch was also submitted. It warns, “Do not put child in bag.”^a

Absurd, right? It’s legalism taken to crazy town. But companies who post such warnings obviously feel they need to protect themselves under the law by doing so. Why? Because some people seem dead set on finding legal holes in the system of laws and using them to their advantage.

The early church struggled with legalism. Because Judaism emphasized keeping God’s law, the first Christians had to decide what place laws and rules would play in their new lives in Christ. In the book of Galatians, Paul goes to great lengths to convince new Christians that circumcision is not necessary for their salvation. Following the rules by keeping the old Jewish laws will not save you. Only a relationship with Christ will bring you redemption.

Truth be known, many contemporary Christians have never really felt comfortable balancing rules and relationships. But if there was ever an earthly testing ground for this important task, it is in marriage. We’ve all known of couples who become so uptight and rigid about the way things should be done in marriage that the relationship never stands a chance. It is too weighed down with rules. On the opposite end of the continuum is the so-called “open marriage” where anything goes and there is barely a rule to be found.

Let’s make this clear: Laws and rules have their place. We need them in our society, and we need them in marriage. But here’s what rule-bound couples often forget: rules turn sour when they become more important than relationships. Legalism kills joy in marriage. It breeds oppressiveness and judgment. Legalism sucks grace from relationships and drains grace from the home.

If Jesus had thought the Kingdom could be built through law, legalism and fundamentalism, He would have worked with the Pharisees rather than call disciples.

—David Currie

^a 139