Revealing The Real You

Revealing the Real You

Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.

John 17:17

Think about the first date the two of you ever had. Maybe you went to a nice dinner. We had ours at the Magic Pan in Kansas City on the famed plaza. Perhaps you went to a movie or a concert, played mini golf or attended a ballgame. You might recall what you were wearing, maybe what you had for dinner. You may even recollect what you talked about together. And you may be able to conjure up some of the feelings you had on that first date. Why? Because, if you are like most people, you put a lot of energy into that first date. You worked hard to create a positive impression of who you are for this person who eventually became your spouse. Even if you decided at the outset that you were just going to be yourself, you can’t help but feel a bit of pressure to “perform” and be the best possible “you.”

It’s commonly believed that nearly everyone wears some sort of a mask on the first few dates. They may wear a mask for some time, wanting to continue a charade of the very best version of themselves as possible. Some would argue that mask wearing may even continue into the first bit of marriage. But sooner or later, the masks come off and the real people are revealed. We see what they do when they are hurt, angry, jealous, annoyed, and so on. It can’t be helped. If you are with someone long enough in varying circumstances, you gradually discover the actual person. That’s why some say love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

So here you are—well after your first date. You’ve seen each other without the proverbial masks. What parts of your personality—the real you—do you think might be most challenging for your spouse to live with and why? Have you asked your spouse?

Think about today’s verse. Do the traits you’re thinking of line up with the Bible? If not, you can ask God to make you holy in those areas—to teach you his word, which is truth, about those aspects of your life.

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.

—Pliny the Younger