Resolving Together

Resolving Together

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Jean Nidetch was overweight in high school and became obese in her twenties and thirties, despite trying all kinds of diet regimens. But in 1961, at age 38, Jean gained a new insight. While she often started a new diet with a lot of inspiration and optimism, she would eventually lose her motivation. So she decided she would lose weight with her friends. She invited them to start the diet with her and then meet in each other’s homes each week to weigh in, literally, and then encourage and support one another’s efforts while keeping each other accountable. They would experience it together.

Out of those first meetings in Queens, New York, grew a company that is known worldwide: Weight Watchers. Nidetch’s idea was simple: If you’re going to stay motivated in your efforts to lose weight, you need peer support.

Eventually Nidetch, who’d lost seventy-two pounds, rented office space and started leading groups across New York City. Today, Weight Watchers International is a billion-dollar enterprise with exercise programs, cookbooks, portion-controlled food products, and a magazine. Nidetch retired in 1984, leaving behind a legacy that has saved the lives of literally millions of men and women. As the company’s current CEO, Dave Kirchhoff notes, “Though the science of weight loss has evolved over the years, the core of Jean’s program—support and accountability—has remained constant.”^a

In this last week of the year we want to leave you with a meditation on the concept of support and accountability. Why? Because if you are like most people, you are contemplating a resolution or two about now. “Every New Year, I resolve to streamline my body, be more sensitive to others, and be more productive. And every year, my resolutions fail.” We hear something to this effect from dozens of people in our counseling office about the time March rolls around each year. In fact, in one poll, taken by Newsweek, only 22 percent of respondents believed they would actually stand by their resolutions for a complete year.

So how can you resolve to do something for your marriage and stick with it? We’ve got some good news: Couples who make resolutions together for the good of their marriage are far more likely to make their resolutions last than those making resolutions on their own.

“Teamwork wins goals,” notes Terry D. Hargrave, a professor of marriage and family therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary. “If a resolution is as good for your spouse as it is for you—bet on success with the resolution and a sweeter marriage.” Why? Because you have a built-in support system for making the same resolutions work. You each have a cheerleader in one another.

Make your resolutions so clear and firm that nothing can lure you from your chosen path.

—Grenville Kleiser

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