Playing Favorites?

Playing Favorites?

My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

James 2:1

A group of children were once asked, “What does ‘love’ mean?” You may have heard some of their answers:

Rebekah, age 8: “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time—even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s love.”

Nikka, age 6: “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with someone you hate.”

Tommy, age 6: “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

Cindy, age 8: “During my piano recital, I was on a stage, and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me, and I saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. And I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Jessica, age 8: “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.”

Out of the mouths of babes, right?

When James writes of not showing favoritism in verse one, he is speaking of having an inclusive and loving attitude with others—the kind some of these kids are talking about. He is talking about letting outsiders in. Do you do that in your marriage?

Most of us become pretty comfortable in our tightly knit social circle and don’t even think about stepping outside it to see who might be in need of inclusion. The most glaring example, as James 2:2-7 points out, concerns socioeconomic status. But playing favorites can be seen even at a church picnic. How many new people have attempted to plug into the body of Christ only to feel sidelined and forgotten? It’s difficult to know. But when we become less discriminating and give a “good seat” to an outsider, something wonderful happens in a marriage. It’s called shared service—reaching out to another person as a caring couple. And ironically, few things bring a couple closer together than reaching out to others together.

So the next chance you get an opportunity—at a party or simply socializing in the church foyer as a couple—try a little experiment and don’t play favorites. You might be surprised what it does for your marriage to reach out and include a new friend.

The giving of love is an education in itself.

—Eleanor Roosevelt