Making Time For Your Closest Friend

Making Time for Your Closest Friend

Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

Amos 3:3

We had just finished speaking to a group of students at a retreat center in Kentucky and had returned to our room when we heard a loud knock at the door. “Monty Lobb?!” I exclaimed. We couldn’t believe it. Monty had driven four hours from Cincinnati and tracked us down without directions or an address.

“I knew I could find you,” he said with a big bear hug. “I heard you were near Wilmore, and I just had to see you.” We talked and laughed for about an hour and a half, then Monty had to drive another four hours home. He was teaching Sunday school the next morning at his church back in Cincinnati.

Few actions speak more loudly about the value of a good friend than making time for the relationship. Why? Because few people invest the time required to keep friendships alive. Friends can sometimes forget to phone, fail to write, ignore important events, stand each other up, and let each other down. Some try to gloss over the cause of an ill-fated friendship by saying nothing could be done to save it. They blame its demise on busy schedules, pressing deadlines, or geographical distance. But we all know that most failing friendships suffer from only one ailment: neglect.

It’s no wonder that “making time” ranks high on the list of our survey of what matters most in a good friend. So many of us juggle so many things, it’s easy for friendship to take a back seat—even when that friend is our spouse. In fact, if we don’t prioritize friendship with our spouse, we’re prone to take that friendship for granted.

But here’s news that will encourage you to put your spouse (and your friends) back at the top of your priority list. A growing body of recent research says ignoring friendship not only diminishes your quality of life but could also be a health hazard. Close friendships act as an ounce of prevention, bolstering the immune system and reducing the risk of illnesses like colds, flu, and perhaps even heart disease and other serious disorders. That makes maintaining friendships a health must, right up there with exercising and eating right.

Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

—Albert Camus