Looking For A Good Excuse?

Looking for a Good Excuse?

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

Proverbs 15:22

One of the greatest saboteurs of reaching our dreams and goals is a sentence that begins with one word: Someday. This word denotes idle thinking that is rarely backed up by action. And most well-intentioned people utter it on a regular basis. It is an easy way to invoke an excuse for putting off what would bring us closer to our goals. And almost everyone loves to have a good excuse.

Zig Ziglar, known worldwide for his upbeat motivational messages, tells the story of the fellow who went next door to borrow his neighbor’s lawnmower. The neighbor explained that he could not let him use the mower because all the flights had been canceled from New York to Los Angeles. The borrower asked him what canceled flights from New York to Los Angeles had to do with borrowing his lawnmower. “It doesn’t have anything to do with it, but if I don’t want to let you use my lawnmower, one excuse is as good as another.”

Pretty good reasoning, actually! Well, the same wacky logic is at work anytime we put off something that brings us closer to reaching our goals—even goals regarding our relationships. “Someday when we have the money.” “Someday when we have more time.” “Someday after the kids have moved out.” “Someday. . . .” Some people go through life, day after day, piling one excuse on top of the other for not doing what they plan on doing “someday.”

So if you catch yourself wondering why you aren’t closer to reaching your dreams and goals as a couple, if you wonder why you’re still at the same place you were last year, you may want to tune in to the frequency of your use of “someday.” Do you really want to achieve your goals? If you’re just struggling to get out of the excuse cycle, consider seeking help. Maybe there’s a book or class or conversation you could seek out to help you and your spouse make a good plan—and stick to it.

Procrastination is the fear of success. . . . People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, . . . it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.

—Denis Waitley