Giving Your Partner “Good Press”

Giving Your Partner “Good Press”

There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!

Proverbs 31:29

If you were to hold high something you appreciate about your spouse right now, what would it be? Chances are it would take you some time to think about that. For some reason, we humans don’t always lean into noticing and remembering the things we value in our spouse. That’s why some find a gratitude journal dedicated to their marriage to be especially helpful.

You’ve probably heard about keeping a gratitude journal in which you record the things you are grateful for in a notebook at the end of each day. This is a powerful way to cultivate gratitude, and many will testify to its effectiveness. But we have something a little different in mind. We’re talking about a gratitude journal specifically for each other.

Here’s how it works. Use a little notebook or even a simple note card, and take turns passing it back and forth. You may exchange it once a month, once a week, or once a day. That’s up to you. You may even be sporadic. The goal is to simply use this journal as a way to tell your spouse one thing about him or her that you’re especially grateful for that day. You might write something like, “I’ve noticed today just how amazing you are with our daughter when she gets frustrated, and I’m so grateful that she has you as a parent.” Then set the journal on your spouse’s desk or pillow or wherever you know it will be found and read. Then your spouse will make a gratitude entry about you and eventually pass it back so you can read it.

Of course, you have to be intentional about doing this. And one more thing: you’ve got to be genuine. The late comedian George Burns told a group of acting students in Hollywood, “Once you can fake genuineness, you’ve got a career.” Of course, you can’t fake it. Everyone has a built-in radar detector for phoniness. So if you’re going to give good gratitude to your spouse, don’t do it merely as a task to check off your to-do list. Make sure it’s coming from the heart.

Praise the bridge that carried you over.

—George Colman