Getting Out Of The Negative Rut

Getting out of the Negative Rut

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Romans 12:10

We had a speaking engagement in British Columbia recently. And it wasn’t in the great city of Vancouver. We were in the back country. Deep in the woods. We flew by seaplane from downtown Seattle into some of the prettiest scenery you can imagine. Snow-capped mountains and lush valleys with breathtaking waterfalls. And we hit it at just the right time. It was a pristine summer day.

People joke that in the Canadian northlands there are just two seasons, winter and July. And it’s more than a joke. When the back roads begin to thaw, they become so muddy that vehicles going into the backwoods country leave deep ruts that become frozen once winter returns. For those entering this primitive area during the cold months, there is a sign that reads, “Driver, please choose carefully which rut you drive in, because you’ll be in it for the next twenty miles.”

We’ve thought about putting a similar sign outside of a church following a wedding ceremony for the newlywed couple. Something like, “Beware, your attitudes are so habit forming they become like frozen ruts, and you could easily find yourselves in them twenty years down the road.”

Of course, it’s a message for more than new couples. Even after years of marriage, our frozen ruts can get the best of us. So why not resolve to make this coming year the year that you get out of a negative attitude rut? Can you think of something in your attitudes that you’d like to change? The more specific you are the better.

It takes serious effort to change these negative thinking patterns, so we urge you to give yourself and your partner grace along the way. And ask for help when you need a boost. If your attitude change isn’t as quick or as consistent as you’d like, go easy on yourself. Remember that each new day presents another opportunity to start fresh. And each day you make this effort to improve your attitude brings you closer to the marriage you desire.^a

“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily. . . . “However,” he said, brightening up a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”

—A. A. Milne

^a 193