From Generation To Generation

From Generation to Generation

Ruth [said], “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

Ruth 1:16

What do you know about your grandparents’ marriage? your great grandparents’ marriage? Of course you know plenty about your mom and dad’s relationship. After all, it was your model for marriage growing up. Whether it was happy or sad, or nearly nonexistent, you observed it up close and personal.

All of us take something from the previous generation’s example of marriage into our own. It’s inevitable. We may even resist some aspect of our parents’ marriages and then find ourselves repeating the very same thing. We psychologists call that an introject—it’s kind of like getting injected with ways of being from our families of origin. And this process can offer both good and bad character qualities. But make no mistake; we are all inextricably linked to our family’s lineages.

Consider this telling poem about the passage of time through the generations:

When I was a little lad, my old Grandfather said

That none should wind the clock but he, and so, at time for bed

He’d fumble for the curious key kept high upon the shelf

And set aside that little task entirely for himself.

In time, Grandfather passed away, and so that duty fell

Unto my Father, who performed the weekly custom well.

He held that clocks were not to be by careless persons wound

And he alone should turn the key or move the hands around.

I envied him that little task, and wished that I might be

The one entrusted with the turning of the key;

But year by year the clock was his exclusive bit of care

Until the day the angels came and smoothed his silver hair.

Today the task is mine to do, like those who’ve gone before.

I am a jealous guardian of that round and glassy door.

And ’til, at my chamber door, God’s messenger shall knock

To me alone shall be reserved the right to wind the clock.^a

From generation to generation, whether we know it or not, we are handed responsibilities and qualities that keep the customs going. So take a moment to explore what you brought into your marriage from your bloodline. Simply talking about this “relational inheritance” will make you more conscious of it and shed light on your current conditions.

What character qualities were handed off to you by your parents and grandparents? Consider your family’s positive qualities as well as inevitable shortcomings. If you were to diagram a family tree of strengths and weaknesses, what would yours look like?

A family is . . . a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living.

—Charles R. Swindoll

^a 154