Speaking A Love Language That’s Not Your Own

Speaking a Love Language That’s Not Your Own

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

ONE WIFE TOLD ME, “I want to touch my husband, but when I try, he draws back. He acts like it irritates him, unless of course we are having sex.” What is this man telling his wife by his behavior? That physical touch is not his primary love language. He will respond much better to words of affirmation or one of the other love languages. If physical touch is your spouse’s primary love language, he or she will welcome tender touches any time you want to give them.

Often, people speak their own love language to others. So if your spouse is always wanting to hug or kiss, it may be because that is what he or she would like from you.

Some people will find it difficult to speak the language of physical touch. Perhaps they were not touched as children, and touching is uncomfortable for them. But anyone can learn to speak this language. The marriage advice in the verses above from the apostle Paul makes clear that we are not to deprive our spouse of sexual intercourse—or any other meaningful touch. When we marry, our bodies are no longer just our own. We can use touch as a gift to each other. Remember, love is about seeking to meet your spouse’s need, not your own. You don’t touch because it feels comfortable to you but because it communicates love to your beloved.

Father, you’ve made clear that touch is a gift not to be withheld from my spouse. Please help me to offer it freely and generously, as a gift of love.

Physical Touch