Respectfully Requesting Change

Respectfully Requesting Change

Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters.

1 Peter 2:17

IF YOU’RE NEWLY MARRIED, you may have discovered some things about your loved one that you’re not crazy about. He snores like a lumberjack. She squeezes the toothpaste in the middle. He thinks Burger King and laser tag are the ingredients for a romantic evening. She sings the wrong lyrics to every song on the radio. He clips his toenails in front of the TV and leaves the evidence on the coffee table. She serves Hamburger Helper twice a week for dinner.

The key to working through such irritations is to keep them in their proper perspective. Don’t let small things become big problems. Remind yourself that these are not life-threatening issues. If you can find solutions, fine. If not, you can live with them.

Here’s a plan for requesting change: Tell your spouse three things you like about him or her, and then make one request. For example, “Could you please rinse the hairs out of the sink when you finish getting ready in the morning?” Since commendation preceded your request, your spouse is more likely to accept the request for change.

One guideline: Never request change more than once every two weeks. Perhaps you could agree that this week your spouse may make a request of you, and next week you can request a change. The bottom line is respect. The apostle Peter encourages us to treat each other with love and respect, and that certainly applies to our spouse. When you are polite, loving, and respectful, you will see changes happen.

Father, it’s easy for me to focus on some of my spouse’s flaws that seem so big to me. Please help me to see them in the right perspective. Help me to treat my spouse with love and respect as we address these small issues, and help me to be willing to listen and change myself as well.

Respect