Removing The Plank

Removing the Plank

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? . . . First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:3, 5 (NIV)

IT IS EASY FOR US to identify the failures of our mates, but more difficult to admit our own. When couples come to me for counseling, I often give each individual a sheet of paper and ask them to list their spouse’s faults. They will write profusely for ten or fifteen minutes. Some even ask for more paper.

Then I ask them to make a list of their own faults. Most people can think of one. But I have seen them sit there and sit there trying to think of a second. Seldom has anyone come back to my office with more than four things on that list. We see twenty-seven things wrong with our spouse, but we only have four on our own list.

We tend to see ourselves through rose-colored glasses. Our faults do not look very big to us because we are used to them. We have lived with them for years. Naturally, then, we attribute the real problem to our mate’s behavior. But Jesus warned us not to judge each other, because the level of criticism we use against others will be used against us—likely by our spouse! He told us to first get the plank out of our own eye. Once we’ve done that, we can see more clearly to help our mate deal with his or her faults.

When it comes to seeking genuine reconciliation with our mate, admitting our own failure is the first step.

Lord Jesus, I am ashamed at how often I criticize my spouse harshly yet don’t give my failings a second thought. Please forgive my judgmental spirit. Help me to deal with my own issues before I cast blame on my spouse.

Criticism