Mutual Sexual Fulfillment

Mutual Sexual Fulfillment

A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.

Deuteronomy 24:5

TWO QUESTIONS I hear fairly often in my counseling practice are “How can I get my wife to have sex more often?” and “How can I make sure we both enjoy it?” How often a wife desires sex will be influenced by how her husband treats her. And finding mutual sexual fulfillment is a process; it does not happen automatically. In Deuteronomy 24:5, we read that God instructed the Israelites not to give a newly married man any official responsibilities, particularly those, such as military service, that would take him away from home. During the first year of marriage couples were to bring happiness to each other. We can conclude that helping couples develop marital intimacy is important to God.

One of the best ways to learn about sexual intimacy is to expose yourself to good information. I suggest that you and your spouse read one chapter each week in the book The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner. At the end of the week, discuss the ideas presented in the chapter. This is one way to better understand male and female sexuality and to discover how to give each other sexual pleasure.

Your attitude should always be one of love, looking out for each other’s enjoyment. Share your desires with each other, but never force any particular sexual expression on your spouse. Open communication in an atmosphere of love will lead to mutual sexual fulfillment.

Father, thank you for the gift of sex. As we seek to become closer sexually, help us to value each other’s enjoyment as much as our own. Guide us in showing love to each other through sex.

Sex