Letting Anger Go

Letting Anger Go

“Don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Ephesians 4:26-27

IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US. We get bent out of shape by some little comment or action of our spouse. She let the dog out without a leash, and now the neighbor is calling to complain. He left his socks on the floor instead of moving six inches to put them into the laundry hamper. It’s the little things that stimulate distorted anger.

How do we handle our emotions? First, we admit them. “I’m feeling angry.” Second, we refuse to let the anger control us. “So I’m going to take a walk.” Third, we ask ourselves some key questions. Did my spouse do this on purpose? Was he trying to hurt me? Or is this simply the result of being married to a human? Have I done similar things in the past? Is this big enough to talk with my spouse about, or shall I let it go?

Either let it go or talk with your spouse about it. Don’t hold anger inside. The Bible warns that we should get rid of anger before dark. When we hold on to anger, it has a tendency to start controlling us—and, as Paul writes, that gives a “foothold to the devil.” In other words, holding on to anger makes us likely to sin more and more. Our anger becomes increasingly distorted, and that paves the way for all sorts of ugly interactions in a marriage. Anger should be treated as a visitor, never a resident.

Heavenly Father, you know that I sometimes hold on to a grudge against my spouse. Please help me to stop! Remind me to stop my response, figure out why I’m angry, and then decide whether to bring it up with my spouse or to let it go. I need wisdom, Lord, so I don’t let anger take control of me.

Distorted Anger