Handling Advice

Handling Advice

Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.

Proverbs 19:20

HERE’S A COMMON QUESTION I hear as a counselor: “We recently had our first child, and my mother insists on doing things that contradict our parenting choices. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What shall we do?” It always helps to begin by realizing that your mother’s (or mother-in-law’s) intentions are good. Give her credit for trying to help you. In fact, some of her ideas may be excellent, so don’t write her off simply because she is your mother.

Remember, the book of Proverbs speaks highly of those who seek advice and instruction. When it comes to rearing children, others’ knowledge and ideas—whether from a parent or from books—are often beneficial. On the other hand, you must not let your mother control your parenting choices. You and your spouse are responsible for rearing your child.

I suggest you listen to your mother’s ideas and thank her for sharing them with you. Then you and your spouse do what you think is best for your child. If your mother is upset because you did not take her advice, say, “I can understand that, Mom, and I really appreciate your advice, but we must do what we think is best for our child. That’s what you and Dad did, right? And I think you did a pretty good job with me.”

Your mother may not be happy, but she will learn to back off and wait until you ask for her advice—which, incidentally, would be a wise move on your part.

Thank you, God, for the child you have given us to rear. Thank you, too, for loving, concerned parents. We pray for wisdom to sift through advice and make wise decisions as we rear our child.

Advice