Finding The Source Of Anger

Finding the Source of Anger

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.

Matthew 18:15

IN THE PAST DAYS, we’ve looked at two steps to controlling your anger: Admit to yourself that you are angry, and restrain your immediate response. Today we’ll look at step three: Locate the focus of your anger. If you are angry with your spouse, step back and ask yourself, Why am I angry? Is it what my spouse has said or done? Is it the way he is talking? Is it the way she is looking at me?

The bottom line in locating the focus of your anger is to pinpoint what your spouse did or failed to do that you consider to be wrong. Has your spouse sinned against you in some way? If no sin was committed, then your anger is distorted. You didn’t get your way, so you are angry. That is childish. It’s time to grow up and realize that in marriage, you don’t always get what you want. However, if your mate has genuinely sinned against you, then it’s time for a calm and loving confrontation. Follow the example Jesus set forth in Matthew 18 by making the confrontation private and direct, and be willing to listen as well as talk. Locating the focus of your anger will help you determine whether your anger is distorted or appropriate.

Father, I need wisdom to determine why I’m getting angry. Please don’t let my emotion cloud my thinking. Help me to differentiate clearly between anger that has a justifiable cause and anger that does not. I pray for positive communication between myself and my mate.

Anger