Finding A Solution

Finding a Solution

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13

AS WE’VE DISCUSSED in the past few days, when you respond to an angry spouse, you need to listen and empathize to understand the reason for the anger. Once you’ve done that, you are ready for step six: Share your perspective. You almost certainly see the situation differently, and it’s appropriate for you to communicate that. For example, “Honey, let me tell you what I had in mind when I said that.” Or, “Let me tell you what I was thinking when I did that.” Chances are, your spouse will be able to hear your explanation because you have created a friendly atmosphere by going through steps one through five.

Finally, step seven is to seek resolution. The question now is, “How can we solve this problem?” Two adults who have heard each other out can now find a solution. If genuine wrong has been committed, then there can be confession and forgiveness, as well as discussion about how to keep it from happening again. Colossians 3:13 reminds believers that forgiving each other is not optional. You need to give each other grace. If misunderstanding was at the root of the anger, you should discuss how you might handle this differently in the future.

Every angry episode in a marriage should be a learning experience, and now you have a plan to make it happen.

Lord Jesus, thank you that anger need not destroy our relationship. As my spouse and I try to respond calmly to each other’s anger, help us to work together to find a solution. When we experience conflict, may we learn from it and come up with a better way to handle it next time.

Spouse’s Anger