Fighting Winter

Fighting Winter

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Proverbs 27:9

TELL ME YOUR EMOTIONS, your attitudes, and your behavior toward your spouse, and I’ll tell you the season of your marriage. Today we focus on the winter marriage.

What are the emotions of winter? Hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness, and rejection. What are the attitudes of a winter marriage? In a word, negativity. You might hear things such as, “I’m so discouraged with my marriage.” “It’s such a frustration.” “I don’t know if we’re going to be able to work things out.”

What are the actions in a winter marriage? Speaking harshly or not speaking at all, destructive and perhaps violent behavior. In the winter season of marriage, couples are unwilling to negotiate differences. Conversations turn to arguments. There is no sense of togetherness. The marriage is like two people living in separate igloos.

The good news is that a winter marriage often makes couples desperate enough to break out of their suffering and seek the help of a counselor or pastor. The book of Proverbs refers to heartfelt counsel from someone who cares for us as very sweet. Good advice is highly valuable, and often the perspective of someone outside the relationship is critical for people who really want to change. Those who seek help will find it.

Father, when our relationship is in trouble, filled with rejection and discouragement, help us to find a wise adviser. Give us the grace and energy to work on rejuvenating the love between us.

Seasons of Marriage