Dealing With Expectations

Dealing with Expectations

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Ephesians 4:31

OUR SOCIETY HAS UNDERGONE a great deal of change in the basic role expectations of the husband-wife team. Traditionally, the husband was the provider and the wife the homemaker. Currently, however, more wives work outside the home than follow the traditional role of domestic engineer. This is not without benefits, but it has spawned fresh areas of conflict in marriage.

If the wife is going to work outside the home and play an equal role with the husband in financial provision, then will he take an equal degree of responsibility for household tasks? Probably not, according to the latest research. As a result, the wife often feels put upon, feeling that she has two full-time jobs. These negative feelings, if not dealt with, may develop into bitterness. We know that’s not what God wants for us. In fact, the apostle Paul made clear that we need to eradicate bitterness and harsh words from our hearts. So how do we deal with these negative emotions?

The best way is to share feelings and negotiate a change. Stating requests positively will likely elicit a better response. A wife might say, “I love you and I really want to be a good wife, but I need your help.” Then she can describe the pressure she feels from having so much to do. It’s all part of an ongoing conversation every couple needs to have about who will do what tasks in a marriage.

Father, sometimes I feel overwhelmed with everything I am trying to do. I want to be a good spouse, but often I don’t think I can keep up, and that makes me resentful. Please help me to deal with these emotions in a healthy way, by discussing them with my spouse. Give us patience and understanding as we sort out who should do what in our marriage.

Division of Labor