Changing Self-perceptions

Changing Self-Perceptions

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Romans 12:2

HOW WOULD YOU describe yourself? How would you describe your spouse? Are you optimistic or pessimistic; negative or positive; critical or complimentary? Is your spouse extroverted or introverted; talkative or quiet; patient or impatient? The way you perceive yourself and the way you perceive your spouse will make a difference in your behavior and, consequently, in your marriage.

We usually speak of these characteristics as personality traits. Unfortunately, we have been led to believe that they are set in concrete by the age of five or six and that we cannot change them. The good news is that we don’t have to be controlled by these perceptions. The message of the Bible is that we can change, with God’s help. Romans 12:2 makes clear that if we’re willing, God will transform us. He can change us at a heart level by altering the very way we think.

Here’s one way to start: If you perceive yourself as being negative and critical, then practice the art of giving compliments. You might begin by giving yourself a compliment. Find something you did well, then stop long enough to say, “Hey, I did a good job with that.” If you give yourself one compliment every day, before long you will change your self-perception. Do the same for your spouse, and watch him or her begin to live up to your compliments too.

You can change your self-perceptions—and the way you interact with your spouse—for the better.

Father, thank you for having the power to transform us from the inside out. I want to change the way I view myself and the negative ways I interact with my spouse. I don’t want to be stuck in the same patterns. Please change me. Help me to be willing to take those first steps.

Transformation