Becoming An In-law

Becoming an In-Law

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.

3 John 1:4

IF YOUR SON or daughter has married, overnight you have become a mother-in-law or a father-in-law. What do you do now? Let’s start with the basics: As parents of married children, we must now view them as adults. We must never again impose our will upon them; we must respect them as equals. Oh, for some of us that’s hard. We have been parents for so long, and we think we know what is best for them. We want so much to tell them what they should do.

Resist the urge. If you maintain the parent-child mode of operation, you will become a “thorn in their flesh.” You may find your son or daughter pulling away from you or your son- or daughter-in-law becoming hostile.

Rule #1 for in-laws is to treat the young couple as adults. You have reared them to be independent; now let them experience their independence. Will they make some mistakes? Probably, but they will learn maturity in the process. Their attaining maturity is far more important than your keeping them from making a few mistakes. Celebrate their independence.

Lord God, as my children get older, please help me give them the respect they deserve. Teach me when and how to let go. Help us as a couple to love them respectfully.

Adult Children