Avoiding Standoffs

Avoiding Standoffs

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Colossians 3:23

I ONCE HAD A COUPLE in my office who were at a standoff over who would clean the toilet. He insisted it was a woman’s job. She maintained that it was a manly task. Mold was growing in the commode because neither would budge.

“What about hiring someone to come in each week and clean the commode?” I asked.

“We can’t afford that,” the husband said.

“Well, do you know of someone who might come in and clean it without charging?”

“My mother,” he answered, “but I’m not going to ask her to do that. That would be stupid.”

“Then what’s the most logical thing to do?” I inquired.

“The logical thing is for her to clean it,” he said.

“No, the logical thing is for him to clean it,” his wife replied.

“Then you have just solved your problem,” I said. “You clean the commode this week, and she will clean it next week.”

“But that’s giving in,” he objected.

“Yes,” I said, “and that is what marriage is all about.”

This couple didn’t have a commode problem but an attitude problem. When both husband and wife choose an attitude of love, standoffs like this won’t happen, and tasks will get accomplished. Remember, as Colossians 3:23 tells us, we should do our work willingly, as if we were serving the Lord rather than people. As you negotiate responsibilities with your spouse, the bottom line should not be about individual rights, but about serving God and expressing love for each other.

Father, it’s easy for me to get caught up in what is fair and thinking only about my own side of the discussion. Please help me to remember that by serving my spouse, I am also serving you. Forgive me for the times when I am stubborn and unloving. Show me how to talk through these questions of household responsibilities with an attitude of love.

Division of Labor