Allowing Freedom

Allowing Freedom

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

Ephesians 1:7

ONE OF GOD’S GREAT GIFTS is the gift of freedom. As the verse above states, God has given us the ultimate freedom by releasing us from the bonds of sin. We have great freedom in Christ, and this call to freedom is a part of who we are.

This desire for freedom is so strong that whenever we feel that someone is trying to control us—particularly someone we love—we tend to become defensive and angry. We need to give each other freedom: to read a book, to watch a sports event, to go shopping, to take a nap, to consider a new vocation. When we try to control our loved one’s behavior, we threaten his or her freedom and stimulate anger.

Ever wonder why, when you accuse your spouse of wasting time, he or she tends to “come out fighting”? You have threatened her freedom. She feels like you are trying to control her behavior. It is fine to request behavior change, but requests are far different from demands. Demands come across as controlling; requests give information. Try a respectful request: “Could you please take out the garbage? That would make me really happy.” He may or he may not, but at least he won’t feel like you are trying to control him.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the freedom you offer us because of your sacrifice. Help us as a couple to offer freedom to each other as well, rather than trying to control each other.

Needs