Depression

Depression

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day.

Psalm 139:9-12

Kathy Cronkite, daughter of the famed newscaster Walter Cronkite, has written about her struggles with depression, describing what it felt like:

I walk outside, it’s the first day of spring, sun shining, breeze wafting, birds singing—so what? My baby gives me one of those dazzling you’re-the-only-one-in-the-world smiles—so what? My best friend calls with good news, my boss gives me a raise, my husband cooks my favorite meal—so what? None of it touches me, nothing makes me smile. I’m one beat off, one step removed from all around me. . . . Although I am no longer suicidal, as I write this the weight is still on my shoulders, the stone sits in my stomach, my face wears a tight mask. I don’t give in to it. I keep myself moving, the battle invisible even to those closest to me. But now, at least, I know what’s dogging me. I know this will not last. I am not going to die. I am not going to feel this way forever. The world is not crumbling. I am not crazy, or bad, or lacking in faith or in discipline. I have a disease. It’s called depression.^a

Those of us who have never suffered from clinical depression have little idea of how dark the darkness must be for those who do. If you suffer from this disorder, you may wonder how you will ever experience God’s peace. Though I have no easy answers to offer, I can say with confidence that God has not left you and he will not fail you—ever. Today I pray that he will find a way to encourage you and give you hope. I pray, too, that you will discover medical and practical help to ease your suffering.

Lord, you know the inner workings of the mind better than any psychologist or psychiatrist. Please bring your healing power to all who suffer from depression and other mental disorders. Don’t let them give up. Instead, hold them, strengthen them, and put them on the path toward peace.

^a Kathy Cronkite, On the Edge of Darkness (New York: Delta Trade Paperbacks, 1994), 2–3.