Three Strikes

If anyone is causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with that person. Titus 3:10

“Do you know what Teresa said about you at last night’s meeting?” This question sounds so like junior high, but unfortunately adult women who aren’t mature in Christ can become undermining, insubordinate, and divisive. There’s nothing harder on a leader than dealing with this kind of personality.

A good leader works hard to create a place of service and ownership for every person’s talent and experience. She looks for ways to build teamwork and a positive work environment. She looks to inspire and encourage team members to move forward and to reach their God-given potential. So when one person joins the team with different motives than the leader’s and is consistently spreading strife, discord, or even outright lies, a leader can’t allow the person to continue her actions.

For most women, doing something to undermine leadership is usually an innocent mistake, and when a leader lovingly and specifically explains what her action was and how it impacted those around her, a mature woman will own up to the mistake and apologize. In a few cases, even agreeing to disagree and to still love one another is a positive resolution.

But there are some women who are too emotionally needy or have such brokenness that they actually enjoy the strife they cause. A leader cannot allow the behavior to continue, however, or she will be left with a mountain of destruction.

Titus 3:10 gives clear counsel about how to handle these people and situations when they arise. Three strikes and the person is out of leadership, out of fellowship, and perhaps out of the organization if there are not signs of repentance, and the damage he or she caused is severe.