Space To Recover

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16:28

I could tell she was upset. She walked straight for me, and her steps were quick, measured, and deliberate. As she began to explain her story, her emotions were obviously packed with anger and frustration. She was mad at her husband, and she was set to tell the world. My answer was perplexing to her.

“Honey, I know you are upset. I know you said you were going to tell his entire family, everyone at his work, and all of his friends, but why don’t you hold off on that until you talk with him about this. If he repents and wants to get into counseling, he is going to need a supportive environment to beat this thing. And isn’t that what you want? You want him to beat this addiction, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“If you tell everyone in his world, he will feel shame around every person in it. That means he has to go outside your circle of friends and family for acceptance and encouragement, and you have just told me that just recently he made a poor choice when he was with someone not in your world, so you don’t want to push him out of your world. He needs a safe place to grow with God. First, talk with him, tell him you need two or three friends to support you in prayer as he works on wellness, and be careful to choose women who can encourage you and keep confidences.”

Why did I tell her to not air the news of her husband’s offense? “Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9).

Jesus didn’t announce people’s sins—except the Pharisees’—and that was because they acted as if they had no sin! Today, don’t say something you are just dying to share.