Oh! That’s Why!

Rebuild the road! Clear away the rocks and stones so my people can return from captivity. Isaiah 57:14

There is an observable pattern in those who suffered trauma as children—the death of a parent; physical, sexual, or emotional abuse; or witnessing a horror, etc. These people, as parents, tend to feel excessive stress and anxiety. They may be overprotective or even make irrational, overstated choices and actions as their children, especially their oldest child, approach the age that was most traumatic in their own lives.

For example, Kara was sexually abused by an uncle when she was nine, so when her daughter approached nine, she didn’t want to let her out of her sight. She wanted to pull her out of private school and homeschool her. She wouldn’t let her visit friends’ homes or go on field trips without her. She stayed through every gymnastics lesson—her daughter was never out of her sight. Was her daughter physically safe? Yes. Was she emotionally safe? Not really. Kara’s daughter felt controlled and overprotected. She began sneaking out of sight at parks and playgrounds. Her mom’s “control” from her own insecurity and pain was actually putting her daughter at a higher risk.

Ephesians 4:27 says, “Do not give the devil a foothold” (NIV). When you do not deal with the issues of your past, you give Satan space to work. If you suffered trauma as a child, seek professional help before your oldest child is anywhere close to the age you were when the trauma happened to you. You’ll feel better—but so will your children!