Egr: Extra Grace Required

Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don’t be concerned that they might not repay. Luke 6:35

One of my friends describes those hard-to-love people in our lives as EGRs: Extra Grace Required. Often, EGR people can be naysayers. When you feel you need to convince them of your point of view, instead, make it a priority to love them by faith. The Bible puts it simply: “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak” (Romans 15:1, NIV). How can you bear with someone you can barely bear?

Try to identify one positive trait in him or her, focusing all your attention there. One woman came to me wanting to leave her spouse because she had no romantic feelings for him anymore. “He never does anything romantic! He just sits there!” I said, “Before you leave, let’s pray and see if God can show you one positive trait in him.” So she prayed and came back saying, “I thought of one—he’s still here!”

We brainstormed a list of positive ways to say, “You’re here!” So she would see him sitting in his recliner, then walk by and say kindly, “It’s nice having you around.” Or she would pat his shoulder and say, “It’s nice some things in life remain the same, isn’t it?”

Then one day he got up out of that recliner, came in, and started asking her spiritual questions. The next Sunday he was in church, where he’s been ever since.

Sometimes the grace we give can be God’s vehicle into the heart of the one we can’t “bear.”