Love

Love

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won’t accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Matthew 18:15-17

It’s not difficult to love someone when things in the relationship are going well. But what happens when it feels like that person is our enemy? Sadly, we sometimes experience circumstances that are very unjust. Someone may have stolen from us, or our husband or friend might be involved in immoral behavior. Does God really expect us to love them?

God has not left us without provision for these situations. His Word instructs us what to do when another believer has blatantly sinned against us.

First, we go to the person one-on-one. We don’t go with the goal of winning an argument; we go with the goal of speaking the truth in love (Galatians 6:1; Ephesians 4:15). This means telling the person how she has sinned against us and what effect her behavior has had. This meeting may be enough to get things moving on the right track. If so, the relationship is on its way to restoration. If not, there’s another step.

Second, we ask for help and counsel from one or two other mature believers, going to the offender together. When sin isn’t dealt with, it spreads, and so does the circle of people that it influences.

If steps one and two don’t prompt confession and repentance, the third step is to take the matter to the church. By this time, if the offender has not repented, she forfeits her position of spiritual sister and is not held in close fellowship.

The goal of these loving but tough steps is restoration of the person and the relationship, and for this we hope and pray.

Father,

Life’s situations are sometimes extremely challenging, and we’re thankful that you have not left us without help from your Word. Please give us extra strength and wisdom to meet the challenges that come our way. Amen.