Listening

Listening

Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites trouble.

Proverbs 10:14

Once a young man came to the philosopher Socrates to be instructed in oratory. The moment the young man was introduced he began to talk in an incessant stream. This went on for some time until Socrates finally silenced the man by putting his hand over his mouth. “Young man,” he said, “I will have to charge you a double fee.”

“A double fee? Why is that?”

Socrates replied, “Because I will have to teach you two sciences. First, the science of holding your tongue; and then the science of using it correctly.”^a

I used to think that if I wasn’t talking, I was listening. But I’m learning that listening is making an effort to hear something, and paying close attention in the process. When I dropped off my sixth-grade son for his first day of classes in middle school, I said, “Have a great day! I’ll pray, and you listen.” Listening is an underrated art. It’s not something we do with our ears only; if we’re really listening, our minds and hearts are involved as well.

Listening is an essential gift for every mom to give her child. It doesn’t cost money, but it does cost time! Ross Campbell, in his book How to Really Love Your Child, says that if a child doesn’t receive focused attention from his parents, he experiences increased anxiety. The message the child receives is that everything and everyone else is more important than he is.

When we listen to our children, they feel a sense of value and importance. That’s a good skill for moms to practice.

Father,

Help us to be quiet long enough for us to empathetically listen to our children. Amen.