Painful, Courageous Honesty

If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 1 John 1:8

What will you say when your children ask you the really tough questions about your life? Will you be honest, or will you try to hide your mistakes?

I recently counseled a man and his seventeen-year-old son. The father wanted to know how to better communicate with his family, and he wanted to start with his son. I told him that he would need to be honest and vulnerable about his own life at his son’s age.

The three of us had a great time talking about the father’s first car, his first fishing trip without his dad, and the girlfriends in his life. When I asked him if there was anything he would have done differently, he said, “Yes. I would not have had some of the friends I had. They were exciting and fun to be around, but every time I was with them, I got into trouble.”

When the father was finished, I asked the son if he had any questions for him. His first question was, “Did you ever do drugs?”

Courageously, the dad answered, “Yes, I did. First it was alcohol. Then it was marijuana, and eventually I did cocaine. I wish I hadn’t, but I did.”

“Why did you stop?”

“I got caught. I was out with my friends, and we were driving on the railroad tracks when the police stopped us and arrested us. That night I decided I didn’t need it anymore.”

Sometimes being vulnerable and honest with those you love means telling them about the things you aren’t proud of. But if you tactfully and truthfully answer their questions, God can redeem even your worst mistakes and use them for your benefit and theirs.

Lord, prepare me to answer tough questions truthfully.