Following God’s Directions

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Jesus, I am only twenty years old. I have no education and no job. I believe you called me to serve you in ministry. I know how these things work out. I get married, Pam gets pregnant, I work at a job I don’t really like to provide for my family, and we all feel miserable. Why would you want me to get married now?

As long as I was in this frame of mind as I prayed, my stomach was knotted up and stress was lodged in my neck. But when I changed my heart and prayed, Okay, God, I will marry her, peace swept over my body. My stomach unwound and my neck relaxed. But as I thought again about what God wanted me to do, it seemed too hard for me, and stress returned.

This argument with God went on for two hours as I drove home to my parents’ house for the summer. Pam and I were not going to see each other for a couple of months, and we had agreed to spend this time apart praying about our relationship. As I made the journey home, God was making it clear to me that he wanted me to marry Pam.

I was sure I would be in God’s will if I accepted his direction, even though it looked scary. But I also knew that my life would be simpler if I walked away from my relationship with Pam—except that I would have to justify ignoring God’s clear leading.

Pam and I have been married twenty-four years. I now realize that God called us together early in our lives because he wanted to “rebuild” us together since we both grew up in dysfunctional families.

Since I married Pam, I have finished two college degrees and am in full-time ministry today. The very things I feared neglecting if I got married were energized by the relationship I once hesitated to embrace.

Lord, teach me never to fear the direction you clearly reveal for me.