Learning To Fight Fair

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

Proverbs 12:18

EDDIE REGRETTED THE WORDS AS soon as they left his mouth. He and his wife, Cindy, had spiraled into a huge fight over weekend plans while on their way home from the grocery store. In an effort to quickly gain the upper hand, Eddie launched into a verbal tirade that included jabs about Cindy’s housekeeping and culinary skills. He mumbled a quick “I’m sorry” in Cindy’s direction, but the damage had already been done.

Because each spouse brings differing perspectives, expectations, and experiences into the marriage relationship, there is no avoiding conflict and disagreements in marriage. But experiencing conflict does not mean that we have to resort to name-calling or the silent treatment. Learning to fight fair while resolving marital conflict is essential to developing and maintaining intimacy in marriage.

Pride drives our desire to be right and to win arguments at all costs, even at the expense of our spouse. Pride is one of the greatest enemies of marriage; humility is one of the greatest friends of marriage.

Are you guilty of keeping score with your wife? Is your need to be right in every disagreement causing you to dishonor her? What would it take for you and your wife to learn to fight fair? If you haven’t learned how to do that, the sooner the better.

BOTTOM LINE

Conflict handled properly can fine-tune a relationship. Prayerfully humble yourself and seek to understand rather than be right.

Moment of Strength: Ephesians 5:1-2