Dealing With Anger

Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Ephesians 4:26

“YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!” Carl roared through the bedroom door. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. What started as an innocent conversation about weekend plans had quickly digressed into shouting and door slamming. Although he had made progress in recent weeks in controlling his anger, Carl had once again lost control and let his anger get the best of him.

Anger is a real and normal human emotion and an unavoidable ingredient in any marriage. It is unhealthy to deny or otherwise suppress our anger. Unfortunately, for many of us anger has become a problem because we have allowed it to lead to destructive behaviors. But notice that the above passage does not say “Don’t be angry” or “If you get angry,” but rather, “Don’t let anger control you.” Paul acknowledges that we will get angry, yet he tells us to be responsible when we do.

Anger does not have to be destructive. We can be angry without harming those around us. In fact, anger can serve as a constructive force in our lives. Anger alerts us when something is wrong; as a result, it can protect us. A conflict-free marriage is rare. Our responsibility is to deal with our anger in constructive, godly ways rather than blowing up and causing hurt.

BOTTOM LINE

We must acknowledge our anger rather than hide from it. But acknowledging it doesn’t mean that we can release it in destructive ways.

Moment of Strength: Proverbs 29:11